Expectations!!!!!!

Why ??? Why do we expect something to happen or something not to happen.... Isnt it too selfish on our part to expect something which is good and never expect something bad???
Why are we forgetting the fact that without givin somethin we are neva gonna get anythin in return...and we also forget the fact that nt neccessarily we have 2 get somethin in return if we are giving out somethin.... we 4get the fact tat we are in a conundrum there........

And moreover nowadays expectations of the people, are gettin higher and higher , from the people and from their lives... GROWING EXPECTATIONS.... GROWING DISAPPOINTMENTS!!!! we expect someone 2 behave in a way and if that doesnt happen we get disappointed..... we expect somethin to happen and if that doesnt we again get disappointed.....
Wel im nt lookin at it only in one way.. i kno we expect somethin n if that happens we feel extremely happy and great... but most of the times if wat we expect doesnt happn, the intensity of feeling bad is faaaar more and higher than the feeling of happiness wen we get wat we expect... i feel it shud be evenly balanced.....

The besht thing to do is to neva expect anythin... this adds on more thrill because anything that happens unexpected gives far higher thrill than happening wen its already expected...
wen something happens which we are already expectin is no joy...
gettin somethin without expectation gives far beta joy n thrill...

So .... GIVE UR BEST... EXPECT THE WORST!!!!!! So wen we get somethin reeli gud, we shall feel all the more better and rejoiced coz we are expecting something worse n gud happens... :) ... and also get a feel of satisfaction that "ok i did well and so i got it" !!!!

The last few dying days of college!!!!!

Finally those days have come when all of us no more feel college as a prison... all of us feel college is our home... none of feel like going back home, none of us want the classes to end, none of us want the teachers to be absent... well im experiencing a new feelin which is just opposite to how it was when i joined the college... i hated the staff i hated my friends.. i used 2 only like the days when the class used to get over by early afternoon and not early evening....

Are all human beings lik this?? that when they have it they never use it and when they are just about to loose it or already lost they start understanding the value of it..

I remem when all the lectures sounded boring to me,made no sense at all.. but now the lectures seem so damn inspiring to me... every lecture i feel im learning somethin new.. i seriously feel if i would have the attitude which im right now having i would ve learnt much more then i ve right now..

And sadly the kind of frinds the number of friends and also the quality of friends i have made in the last 10 or 12 months can be rated atleast fifty to hundred times better than the ones i had in the first 24 months... god!!!!! its all the more painful when i think about it...

Anyways its life and gotta move on with the flow... I would surely like to keep in touch with some reeli special people who are the sweetest people i have ever met in my 20 years of life...
and also to all my lecturers who i feel have commpletely changed the bent of mind whic i had pre under graduation... marvelous preaching i should say...
I very frankly feel if one has got a chance to study from st joseph's bangalore and finds himself in the humanities block then he has to consider himself to be reeli lucky to have landed in ..
Yea it is lil strict but certainly the pros are more than the cons ... -ves should just be blown off like dust and the positives should be neva 4gotten... im sure if i get married and if at all end up havin kids and if the kid grows up in bangalore i would surely see to it that he too will be a JOSEPHITE!!!!!!

Interview!!!!

Had my 1st personal interview of my life yesterday... Have had many such interviews but those were all jus for the heck of it.. Formality types.. but yesterday's was an interview at st.joseph's college of business admin. for getting myself hooked in that college for the next two years .. but for wat?? yea for MBA, more importantly to basically "slog"...

Reached there on time which was surprising for my ownself... Its k.. i lik surprises.. ;) anyways we were asked to go to a particular room and take our seats.. And i already saw lot of thm who were ultra punctual.. And most of them being gals.. wel nothin surprising there coz gals are always like tat.. they can go to any extent to please someone.. But yea i feel thats one thing i gotta learn frm thm.. JUST that oly things.. and NOTHING els.... but yea they wre all cute lookin decent gals...

The room was soon filled and the dean walked in spoke some words in english.. yeah english.. i cud understand oly tat ... I was reeli so damn cool and care free coz i wasnt expecting anythin at all from the interview.. I went in a bent of mind wher i kept on sayin to myself.. "I GET IN, WELL AND GOOD.. IF I DON'T, WEL AND GOOD TOO"..... Life has of late taught me how not to expect anything from anyone and from life too.. and hehe to my surprise i have been getting watever i wanted ever since i had adapted that kind of attitude...

Later the whole lot of us were asked to write on essay about us being an investor in the movie slumdog millionaire.. i wrote well and then we were awaited by two rounds of personal interviews. The first round was'nt all that great for me...
there was this fat plump lady who took the interview and she did look lik one typical feminist.. And bang started screwing me and ripping me apart by shooting questions. And her questions were so full of sarcasm that it looked as though she had gone for a special lifetime course on how to be sarcastic... Anyways she asked me wat my fav. subject was and i said economics and man she strted askin an undergraduate lad questions whic was too much for him and the lad was great in every othr aspect than studies.. later i somehow deviated the whole conv into social contract theory which i was confident to speak about...

I wasnt all that pleased with my own performance. The second round was awaiting me.. and i ws lik little nervous comparitively. A gentle aged man was sittin in the chamber and looked lik an retired army officer.. Anyways walkd in an he too asked me my fav subject and this time the lad was smart enough not to say "economics" :) i said sociology... and confidently spoke about it.. And little later he saw the my application form and i saw a frin on his face and he said" oh am talkin to a josephite?? " and i said yes.. he started smilin all the more for some reason ... may be coz both of us already shared a common identity.. then i said to myself.. " the josephite identity works my boy" :) then he said he should'nt be wasting time of a josephite like how he was and sent me off wit respect... Was a nice feeling...
Lets see wat happens now.. Im gonna keep my fingers crossed and wait for the results...

Science... Boon or Bane????

Well witnessed one of the best lectures i have ever heard my international relations prof. has given till date... atleast in my class.. waah wat an enchanting lecture it was.... his lectures usually are but me along with the "my types" guys neva listen to wats goin on in the class... we either sleep or keep irritating the person who is sleeping and finally end up gettin a lecture for our acts by the same lecturer.. wel i have neva come across someone lik him in my 20 yrs of life.. Impeckable is not the word to appreciate his spoken english.. A great orator... But who cares.. im a student and will do my duty like how he is doing his duty and my duty as a student is not to listen but to disturb.. ;)

Anyways i duuno wat went wrong with me today that i very anxiously and without fallin asleep heard to wat he spoke and i was reeli moved afta wat he spoke.. He very emotionally spoke about "Science if its doing something good or something bad" ??? well even he couldnt answer it and neither could we... but then that question kept on echoing in my mind and made me once again think after a very long time.. some fodder for my brain finally...

K comin to the question now.. Yeah i kno science has brought about some great wonders to this world which our ancestors couldnt have and wouldnt have even been able to imagine about how oday's world is which we are witnessing.. Earlier people used to send messengers to convey message to someone in just the next door village.. but today !!!!! its the yahoo messenger thats doing the duty.. name is the same "messsenger" but then all of us know the difference between a messenger and "yahoo" messenger.. hehe

No doubt it has done done wonders but then i feel we all are going to pay a very huge price for the contribution of science in our lives... as they usually say nothing in this world is for free.. we gotta pay a price for all whic we are already doing and paying where the expenditure takes its charge in the form of pollution,stress,war,heavy competetion..... According to me there should be no competetion ... i feel a day will arrive wen the society will no longer be a capitalist society but an utopian society... wher people may live to work and live for others and not work to live and lead a selfish life... it may sound insane.. yes it does but then i thot over it again and again.. i feel its possible for whic a great transformation has to take place which i think is soon gonna happen... whic is the "THE 2012 CALLING"

people were healthy and smart in the olden days but now science and technology has taken its place firmly not to make them still smarter but actually to make them dumb by making them feel smarter which is a real smart way of business... I feel the world then was much better then how it is now... life full of superficiality.. hi tech cars,hi tech bikes bla bla bla... an yea hi tech gal frnds ... hehe i dunno wats gonna happen... I just cant imagine the amount of damage science is actualy injecting into the society... The first thing i would blame that science has brought in is the "nuclear weapons" had it ot brought it into the society there would have never been wars which are gonna lead no where... war for a cause is fine.. but war to just flaunt its ability just proves how dumb people have turned after science ..

People may question asking about its contribution in the field of medicine.. wel i would say its a waste.. Human beings are after all forms of nature and if they are dying then we should let it happen and not artificailly influence the results and disturb the chain of life cycle...

Anyways i feel im going way out of my shoes coz of the grudge on science at the moment.. but i kno even afta talkin so much against it my hand will reach my mobile phone asap... so i reeli dunno...
gud nite....

I don't believe in exams.....

Im completely annoyed with the current education system all of us are in... This is not because i score less or my friends score less... Its just a general impression i get about the system...

All of us attend approx. 60 hrs of a particular subject each semester,and we are put into a test where we are supposed to write whatever we have learnt in the prescribed 60 hrs in just 3 hrs!!!!!! is it justified???!!!Man come on we fuckin learn soo much,within the syllabus outside the syllabus and so many general things.. education is not just about becoming literate... its about how well are we able 2 apply those whic we learn in our actual lives... there lies the real potential and talent of an individual..

We often see in schools that the teacher when distributing the papers jus goes on and on appreciating the student who has scored really well and the student who fails or who scores comparatively less marks is so badly pulled down that the poor child looses the whole damn interest in his or her life... I very strongly recommend the teachers to get educated 1st and then try teaching the students...
And the students who actually score centum in the subject has hardly any knowledge about what he has written in his paper.. Its so damn easy for someone to just by heart whatever he s supposed to and score... He should be morally tested according to me..

Its actually a very big emerging problem in india.. The worst part is even parents don't understand what their children are good and bad at.. A child if not able to score well is just blindly written off saying he s just too dumb... Just imagine what that child must be going through facing all kinds of humiliation.. We should be able to identify our strengths and should work on our strengths.. weaknesses should be just casually ignored since the strengths ll destroy the weaknesses..

the education system should be in such a way that all students should be imparted education .. no doubt about it.. but also should be seen that if not mastered he has at least got his basics right and should be given the certificate then n there( subject to how well he has understood wwat he is supposed to).. and instead of that not torturing them by making them slog day and night and then finally fail them... wat a pity ,wat a pity.... :(
Education is all about the way we are going to apply watever we study in our daily lives and how wel we make use of them for our daily bread and not about perennially writing exams gettin tensed and eventually shortening our lives span.....

Some chemistry between myself and night......

He he yeah... there is surely something fishy about my mood and the time of the day... i have been very carefully observing my thinking processes and the things which i think about and also the way i think during different time periods... And i found that im very sensible and intelligent in the night??? hehe strange.. and its only during the night time that im alone interacting with myself and noone else...

i think about so many national issues and lots of othr stuf which i usually do not... i don't think i have ever thought about proposing a economic model to eradicate income inequalities in India... Siddy boy too much... Day times im just a completely a different individual compared to the night.. just the opposite??

Am i experiencing multiple personality disorder by any chance...??? oh ma god.. scary.. ah in a way its good actually because i feel a guy should be the most intelligent and smart with depth thinking capacity during the nights because its NIGHT.. ;) a lot can happen in a night isnt it?? hehe Its a good news to my gonna be wife.. She will be pleased to know that..

Completely moved after a night full of war movies.....

Well just went to national market the other day to buy some dvds of war movies which im really amused about these days.. In fact i have taken this up as an hobby to collect war movies and i dunno why... not because i enjoy it... well i enjoy it in a very emotional way... i enjoy it in such a way that along with the element of recreation a feeling and a thought process about the life of the people of those countries rips through my mind.....

Well two movies that is Hotel Rwanda and amistad were screened in the college as a part of international relations topics.... and how can i possibly ever be serious in college esp. with the lecturer not amidst us.... ;) we were all into mocking, and laughing business out there in the coll A.V room.... so never watched it seriously but i had somehow grabbed the idea behind the movie. and that too may be because we had to submit the summary which accounted 10 marks of our internals....

But later i felt like watching the movie when im alone and not with friends... So went bought them and dint want to watch them with my parents around because my dad doesnt like me talking about these issues...

So went to my bes friend's house whose parents were outta station.. so we first watched hotel rwanda... man so damn touchy the movie was... It was all about the civil war in Rwanda and how this guy saves the minority caste which was getting fucked by the major... Both of us were surprised for two reasons .. no.1 because we dint fall asleep and no.2 we were touched and could feel the heaviness of our hearts... Both of us never get or rather have neva got that senti about anythin.. Painful story man... and we were reeli charged up to watch more of these sorta movies...

Then we switched to Blood diamond... well hats off to caprio man... wat an actin.. pheww great role... And the story.. whoa!!!!! wat a story... tears literally came to my eyes... and then had to tell them that im a guy and not supposed to cry... ;) and myself an aru were so much soaked into this whole african shit abt their problem their life that we neva felt lik sleeping... then after that we decided to watch one more and that was Pearl harbour.. and i should say that the director should'nt have included the love story in it.. in way it was good... ;) and finally we look at the clock and it was 8 15 am....

Had to get to our regular activities but still kept on thinking about the same the whole day...
and cursed the indolency of the west and the other countries who ruthlessly exploit the Africans...

And also felt how lucky we are... esp being an urbanite makes life all the more where terminologies like freedom and liberty is a cliche for us....

I feel so desperate to go an visit those countries and check if they have exaggerated in the movies about the whole issue...