How deadly it is to watch deadly dreams!!!!!!

Oh my god wat a dream i had... after this dream im never going to hope that dreams should come true... Well peacefull sleep i was having untill this dream actually woke me up which has never happened till date in last 20 years... Hats off to u Mr. dream.. no Mrs. dream i should( well Mrs. coz it was bad ;))


i see a dream where i was on my way back from a trip with my baddy frnds which we periodically do.. And on our way back we had to stop at a level crossing.. and we did.. We could hear the traing chugging.. and as the train got into our vicinity i just got down went close to the track and was watchin the train drawing close.. The train was steaming into and i dunno wat made me do it i just jumped against the engine when it was croosing me...
k the train just dint go over me but the catchpoint is my spirit came out of my body within seconds and im watchin my body getting pasted under the train... man im dead but how can i watch myself dying??????? and just not that i was even present for my funeral... wel i think i got up there.....


Pheww i dunno what am i supposed to infer from it... am i gonna die or was it just for me to know about wat happens after death??? Like may be the s time asking me nt to fear death because im not gonna sense the pain but just watch my body dying??? hehe very confusing...
So im no more gonna break my head... fuckin live life like how im right now and experience the feeling when im dead... Now im dead fa tonite.... ;)
nighty nite....

Thanks to my friend's best friend......

Well i felt reeli good about something which my friend's friend made me understand about how gal's feel when they are left... But then my ex already made me understand it and brushed me up with all things related to that and then left me not for any other reason but for the reason that she basically wanted me too to experience the same and yea i did experience it...

And according to me mistake when accepted is no more a mistake...
And yea im reeli thankful to my friend's friend to be sucha gr8 frnd to my good frnd.. i don't think my friend bothers about herself as much as she bothers for my friend.. which makes me feel good and happy for my friend..

And the stone is carved into a very beautiful and adorable monument much before it was expected by my friend's friend... and she ll be pleased to see that... :)

And yes the fire was understood as the sacred fire which the hindus worship and not as a fire which is used to cremate....
cheers...

Worst match ever...

Played the 3 star state ranking tournament today.. Playing a tournament after 6 months......... Was too pre occupied with college and college friends i should say... Like last semester of my degree so trying to make the max use of it... these coll days will never come back...

coming back to the match, had to play some unseeded guy,dont ever remember his name... And some useless shuttle they had given for the qualifying rounds... those were made of sparrow feathers may be.. Hopeless and unpredictable flight.. But had to play.. and i did a big time mistake by playing just more than i can last nite with my kba frnds... thought would be a good practice the day before the tourney... But i should have been in my limits.. Just went on and on yest that today the body never listened to wat it was asked to... No foot work and smashes all out of the court in fact they landed in the next court i should say...

Wel i dunno felt reeli sad abt the whole thing... Still wondering about how could i possibly loose to someone who is like a speck of dust for me to just blow it off... anyways have to see all sides of life... A small defeat teachin many lessons is pretty affordable i presume.. but how far have i learnt those lessons??? nevermind.....

Man i have given up!!!!!

Aaahhh... at last its all over... wel i mean my love with jance is no more a love for me... Its not my voluntary decision i should say... wel it was completely my mistake.. who fuckin asked me show sooo much of love to her that she may b got lovophobic??? (wel i dunno wat tat phobia is) cmon sid any gal would get defensive when someone s trying desperately i mean desperate.. And its very natural for good girls i say "good" and she is one among them.. Well anyways its time for me move away from it i think because i dont think its affordable for me just go on thinkin abt it so much that i forget how to live like how im supposed to and may be how i actually do... Hmmmm my friends will never like that... well friends secondary but i myself wont like it..

All of us here in this world are forms of energy and are expected to act and behave in such a way that it gets proved that we are all forms of just not energy but to be more specific.. "dynamic energy" hehe me jus gonna move on since apparently some gals don lik getttin liked by others.. I have to get a life for myself... But being a scorpio guy its extremely difficult for me live alone man... NO.. i cant .. i want a very close partner who will always stand beside me and correct me at every step of my life... and in return i will do the same.. and im good at it ;)

Hope i find a good one for myself. lemme see how far i go... well whoever that gal is i have a small message for her "HERE I COME BABY".. ;)

Perception differs.....

Well i was just going through one of this gal's blog wher she has completely blasted the shit out of a guy who is actually trying to change the way he used to live,the way he used to behave,the way he used think etc... many people looked at the change in a very positive way,i should say "many" ... His frinds were kinda surprised about it though it was hard to believe for them... Some people just look at someone's appearance and behaviour in a very naive manner and write them off... whic according to me is not a trait which a wise human being should be having and if has should be trying to get rid of it as soon as possible... But coming back to the guy.. he is lucky enuf to have good friends beside, behind and after him to support him in a positive way.. which i feel is imp..

The kinda company ur in reflects the kinda person ur...
And my poor friend has never been rude to people who have been rude to him.....
But then cant blame the ones who think the other way.. I feel its every human being's right to think wat he or she feels about someone... "Freedom of thought expression" .. (Well lil bit of pol. science ther as i had tat stupid subject in my 1st year :))... But expression not at the cost of someone else's feelings... And its also very important for the person who is being pulled down to be strong enough by not loosing his cool and not feeling bad at such negative perceptions... take the positive and send the negative with love and pleasure.. coz i dont think positive has any value without negative... and i feel we as human beings should once again be able to control our emotions towards our loved ones and try to find out what exactly the matter is and then jump into watever he or she wants..

i mean an un biased outlook at various different things..... Conclusion should be the last thing that a human being should ever do... coz i feel falling into a conclusion after a long time experiment if proved wrong then it would be a very painful feeling for the one who has carried out the experiment....
Pheww!!!!! we as human beings have soo much to learn man... i doubt if i can learn even 1 % of it but im trying, im trying.. and im pleased and happy that im trying.!!!!

How important it is.......

Well i dunno why am i thinking a lot nowadays .. anyways its good in a way u see... :) Well i just felt how important it is for an individual to interact with the right individual... its a little confusing juncture i shud say... I strongly feel that our outlook towards life,our attitude towards life is very much dependent on the kind of people we interact and mingle with.. I have heard some sadhus and some wise men in this world saying that the kind of attitude your friend wears will soon be your outfit... hehe true ... very much..

Well its pretty obvious that the kinda person we go around or hang around with does have an impact on our outlook too.. This im saying of personal experience with rock solid proof and evidence about how true my statement is... When i was in my 10th standard class the whole class was full of nerds and future intellects i should say.. and i was the odd one out with no aspirations of becoming an intellect.. ;) and the students there were ONLY into studies and nothing els nothin else at all..

I mean there was absolutely no socializing element present in them.. and a stay of one whole year with them made me too one of those kinds with just studies and no social life at all.. everytime exam tensions,question paper patterns and yea how can i forget the competition i mean the scoring competition .. ooooff come on people wat are ya gonna achieve by scoring centum ?? a good placement at some IT company where they are just gonna make you toil day and night because you are good at only studies.. thats wat u have learnt... wat else have you people learnt?? do you all kno how to get along with people whom are completely new to within minutes?? well anyways i was stuck there for two years and well the day i left that school i felt as if im out after spending my 14 years of imprisonment that too not in a normal city jail but the cellular jail at the Andaman.. pheww!!!! So beig with people like them even i became one like them.. but on the contrary when i shifted to commerce in a different school the ambiance was all together a diff. one.. the students there were full of bubbling energy and zest... i mean it was just perfect for someone like me.. all my true colours and traits came out and that is socialize!!!!!!!!

Wel i personally feel every individual generates positive and negative vibrations and whic unknowingly gives it out... A positive energy body when mingles with a negative becomes a negative coz its always negative thats more stronger in this world according to me... gone are those days of positive and optimistic thoughts.. in fact there were never those kinda days in the history... So i just realized at the end of the day about how choosy we gotta be when it comes to friends or the person we gonna have intimate relations with... because after all you can be happy only if the people around you are happy... al of us pray for our own well being and bliss but have we ever thought that without the person beside us being happy how the hell can we be happy???!!!

ever since the day i realized this big time fact i pray for well being of my frnds too!!!!!! imagine if everyone around us are all sorrow and sad due to some problem or the other?? can we be happy even by chance??? nah... so just felt about the significance of having a good company whic eventually will lead to a positive outlook towards life and can tackle and overcome any kinda life causalities... A good company will do wonders in an individuals life.. and we should see to it that even if someone around us isnt feeling all that great we should some or the other way make him feel good because once again we are inhaling the oxygen from the same atmosphere where he has exhaled... pheww that was a little too much but i feel that made sense...

Human emotions!!!!!!

its not a good one but then its not a dead end to our lives... I have seen people who start drinking excessively, i have seen people Man i was just reading the newspaper the other day and after reading this article my heart just skipped a beat... It said how a husband killed his own wife just because he loved someone else and dint want his actual wife to know that.... Pheww well i wont say i have never come across a news like that but then i don't know why this just gave a minor jerk to my mind and made it work a little bit and "think"(Wel something which my mind is not used to at all.. ;)) And so did i obey to the orders of my brain and started thinkin and almost lost thinking over and over again and again.... and i just felt its the over whelming amount of human emotions whic is no doubt very important to mankind but thats something which people are getting too much of it nowadays... God is getting a little too lenient in that particular field and being little generous in giving them in bulk... human emotions according to me ARE of course important for any individual for that matter.. without emotions i don't think we can call ourselves as human beings... we become in human without the in built emotions... But these emotions should be used very wisely and carefully at the right places and the right time... Which according to me we as human beings have not been and being able to master and which we ought to... For instance we meet our relatives after a really long time, express your emotions because the emotion at that point of time is completely harmless... It adds on life to the whole occasion.. But exessive usage of emotions during a death in a family or during any negative thing or event that has taken place in and around us leads to a negative effect.. Yes we should express and share our emotions but not at the cost of loosing it all... Thats where we as human beings lag... we all are just too bad in accepting failures... WHY????? why is that so.. Its just an event like any other event.. of coursecommitting suicides and i ave heard people killing someone else etc etc... wel its all because of the excessive amount of emotions which all of us possess and fail to use it appropriately... Well i have seen people giving up their whole life and loosing all their hopes just because of a small love failure... I mean why use so much of emotion to it.. Yes i agree emotions should be there in a human being but not to that an extent that instead of us having control over our emotions it starts taking control of us.... that's where starts the downfall of an individual... so i would like to say that use emotions at occasions and places where if its gonna get positive and good vibes in one own self and just forget emotions at occasions where the use of emotion is gonna get a negative result... Life is just too short... Hope we as human beings end up spending our lives with full of positive thoughts and attitude which will bring in lots of those good emotions which can do only good to us and will let us explore all the good corners of life and never ever takes us or never will make us witness which is somethin bad... I doubt if this ideology will work in a macro level but then micro level certainly YES!!!!! after all once human beings are very selfish and are supposed to be if they are qualified to be called as normal human beings... ;)

Wat a day it was.....

Ahhhh.. wat a day it was .. fabulous.. one of my friend who is my classmate had called all of us for lunch since it was a holiday and more over since it was bakrid...we were 7 in all and basically he had called us for lunch and for nothing els... but then at the end of the day the invitation for lunch never looked like as if he had invited for lunch .. It looked like as if he had called all of us for a session of aerobics to reduce our mass.(well none of us were fat there though.all the guys had a sexy body and all the gals had a curvy one..;) ) We all helped him cook food since he couldnt do it all alone.. he lives alone in his house.. so two of us helped him do that an by 2 30 we all were all set to hog as much as possible.. wel atleast i did that since it was free food ;) i never miss these kinda opportunities... and then all of us were so full that we could hardly move around... everyone of them were done but i was still on... then felt too odd to go on so jus stopped it ... We had no idea about what to do after lunch.Firstly we were too full to do anything and secondly had to do something.. cant be idle right.. then our great friend started playing some good music which turned all of us on... never knew that music could get soo much of josh into people within a matter of seconds... all of us just got into that mood and spirit and just started dancing on and on... i was literally so exhausted that sweat literally was dripping from the corners of my costume... And all of us were completely into it for some one and a half hours and finally due to excessive exhaustion had to stop and also the clock started reminding us of the time limitations, doing its duty though cant blame it...
Wel at the end of the day just felt how important the process of socialization is for any individual for that matter.... Anyways not in a mood to post mortem the whole event because im still in the mood of partying not in a mood to think... so rest is for tomoro... :) But had a real good time with friends.. actually just too tired after dancing so much.. anyways "long live socializing animals"!!!!! ;) How boring it would have been without people having unique and different characters around us..

There is something new to learn everyday.....

Wel last three days have been realy busy with the collections for the new year celebration at our society and will be busy untill the eve arrives... This is the fourth consecutive year we are doin this.. And wel me and my dearest friend who were into fund collection from the flats felt we have learnt some really new and important ingredients which a human being should posess being a human being.."leadership" "patience" "quick decisions" " good communication"..wel these are just to name a few of sooooo many of others.. It may sound very simple but its completely the other way when we actually come to a situation or stage where we have gotta use them.. All of these traits were tested in the last two days for me and my friend.. We so easily talk about all these as if we have mastered the art of man management but we feel the sting when it is actually required to use them.. We had the task of knocking each and every door of our society and with a very pleasing smile and cool head had to explain them all about the programme and our society has got about 150 flats in all.. Some people are so damn chilled out and some people are just too agressive i mean we go to ten different house and find ten different personalities all together... and ya some of them having some ten different family members questioning us. I know we could have just told them "giving us the money or not???" but then both of us never felt its the right way to go about. Empathy is another very important thing which both of us learnt.Wat will the person listening to us think when we are telling them all these and two new well built good looking guys talking to them when they don't even know who we are.So we had to strongly prove our identity first.Convince them and then collect the money.I feel if someone has to survive in this world full of competetion with his head held high then the first thing he has gotta learn is how to speak the way the person who is listening to you wants you to.. Its not a favour but just a very smart and shrewd way of getting our job done where its a win-win situation.The person who spoke to you will feel good and you will feel better because firstly you get your job done and secondly you made someone feel good!!!!! Anyways it was a day full of fun and lots of 'gyaan'!!! :)

Do gals enjoy being gals???

Well i know without gals this world would have been like a river without water, or a tree without leaves... but then i was just trying to imagine myself to be a gal and was looking at everything like how gals would look(i don exactly know though but then just assumed their way of life) but i feel i have a fair idea about their likes and dislikes.. may be i can tell people that i have learnt something in ma 20 yrs of life.. :) that is how to empathise gals which according to me is very difficult... ;) anyways... i just paused for a while before i could start imagining further an thought if they really love being gals?? i know they gotta live anyways but do they relish it??... They get followed everywhere. they are taunted everywhere and i saw few documentaries where i saw how badly they are treated... to be frank tears literally came to my eyes when i watched them... anyways its something like the punch line of hutch.."wherever u go guys follow" he he .. So i wonder if gals like getting followed lik how they get? I'm completely perplexed about it.. Well it would be great if they let guys know that, so that guys can modify their way of following or rather flirting.. Which could be a joyful experience for both guys as well as gals.. Well anyways i don't care if they like or dislike i really love the way gals are.. I bow my head in front of them for being like how they are.. Without them this world would have been like a black and white TV.. No colour in it at all... don't know why felt like thanking them for the tolerance and the maturity they have got... but then it would be really wierd if i go out and tell every girl out everywhere saying"hello miss thank you soo much" hehe Im sure people would straight away write me off as a mentally retarded.. So all i could do was to write my heart out here....

A motivation to get up early......

Usually its either the alarm clock or the mobile phone or parents who perform the duty of waking us up (well i know its sad to esp. in a climate like blore's) but still most of us need some1 to wake us up... but then i was just wondering that nobody wakes me up an in spite of that how could i ever reach the bus stop on time???? its once again the bus stop chick who is responsible... its now more than 2 and a half years and we both still haven't even passed a smile to each other.. and in spite of the above fact she is my "alarm clock"... he he well its god who has made her so beautiful and adorable that i ve got reeli superstitious that only if i see her every morning,my day would go well and if not thn the other way.. that hasn't happened much because i see her off every morning.. ;) missed it way too occasionally.... how i wish that she could ever read all these things... but i don't think so... i don't mind though.. i get to see an angel every morning who is responsible for my early waking up and a great day... i just wish that each of us in our lives just keep something of this sort as a motivational factor and just keep enjoying every second of our lives.. i feel like heaven when i see her in the morning even though i have never even said a HI to her.. I know its not very good to get lost in an imaginary world like this but then it hardly matters in occasions like these. its not going to affect us in any way.. in fact its getting loads of positive vibrations within ourselves.. I'm getting to have a really good and peaceful day.. and more importantly a cheerful morning,which most of urbanites miss.. "A CHEERFUL MORNING".. The fresh feeling,the cool head,the rising sun,mind with no worries etc. we just go on to miss all those which is at its peak in the morning and end up getting frustrated... well i don't mind that chick not talking to me because, in spite of her silence,that silence has proved to be a very strong and effective one... :)

Bus stops.......

Well bus stop is usually a place which not everyone likes to go .. firstly coz its most of the times crowded secondly our great public transport system is so great that its the only place where people feel that they have got there earlier than ever before an esp in the mornings.. which i don't think ll ever happen.. at least students.. nah.. i can see people hissing and getting pissed off around me but i have always enjoyed and relished my time in those bus stops.. .. i have had some of my greatest and sweetest times of life in bus stops.. well even i feel at times about how could possibly bus stops and travelling in a bus could ever be an joyful and fun filled experience....??? but then later i just stopped thinking abt tat and continued enjoying it..Well actually all credits to the sweet, hot, cute, and adorable angel who comes to the bus stop every morning.. well the whole strong affinity towards buses and bus stops is because of that sweet girl who comes there every morning... well early in the morning when i see her it feels like heaven.. i feel as though a whole flock of doves are fluttering in ma heart,and when the bus moves i feel as if I'm sliding on the rainbow and when she gets down,everything is back to normal.. :( the bus is no more a wonder vehicle.. its the pale blue-white BMTC bus an the crowded bus stops r no longer paradises... they are just BUS STOPS..
!!! Wish i had someone like her everytime around me , well i don't mind someone like her to be with me and not just around me.. welll its just a wish ;) so that through out the life can always see only the good about different things... which i feel most of us lack and are in need of it in bulk amounts!!! "POSITIVE OUTLOOK"~~~~