living the future!!!!!

I wonder how would it be to live the future??!!! amazing phenomenon to imagine about... Alll of us have this very tendency to dream dream and dream away to glory!!! and most of the times we often tend to think about a particular thing which wud actually make us feel really gud and the feeling of goodness once acheived melts down lik how a guys heart melts for a gal.. hehe ... interesting.... acc 2 me they take place in stages...

The first stage, when u actually think of wat may happen? wats gonna happen?? how is it gonna b?? so "THNKING"

The second stage, when ideas linger in our minds filled wit loads and loads of positive energy and bubbling zest. so that is "DREAMING"

The third stage is the stage wher the process of realisation tkes place and we start thinkin about all possible hurdles to acheive the goals whic we wud ve dreamt.so "DISAPPOINTMENT" and tas coz we start feelin oh can i do it or cant i do it... so basically nt a sure feeling...

And the last stage is well, we come out of the future in whic we were living and realise that oh i ve to do ths i ve 2 do that and we start living the present.. and thats wat prevents us from dreaming.. that means its basically preventing us from moving forward....

An individual in ths modern world is materialistically moving at a rapid rate but otherwise he hasnt realised that he is actually moving backward day by day... and thats wat the situation demands... God do save us!!!! Do give us the chance to do something of ourselves with no constraints and dear god i promise we will neva innovate or invent something that would be a scum in the society... (provided if young minds lik me are lik me.. ;) )

Life is like sand. . .

I think this month of every year is the gyaan time for me.... all possible thoughts are running through my mind... thoughts which make sense whic dont make sense etc... I have started too see them even in my dreams.. every night i see a loong dream and co incidently even the dream conveying the same message to me...

I just realized that life is actually like a handful of sand... where the sand in our hand are the different people and various events we come across.... and if we notice sand when in our hands if crushed harder the more it tends to rush out through the corners and and the ends of our hands... same applies to our life... the more we feel like getting something the more desperate we get to achieve our goals the quicker the go away.. i dont mean we should'nt ve any wants or so.. but shudnt expect too much from anythin and shudnt get desp. 4 anythin...

same applies to the people.. the more we try to rub on with them the more they start feeling un comfortable and they tend to push off ... Actually the urge to get somethin at any cost is a positive trait in someone but then life doesnt accept it... it wants us to be patient about each and everythin...

Therefore the sand in hand must just be held safely in our hands in such a way that they are in good contact with our body and do not get away too... instead of crushing them and getting them too close and eventually loosing them ... True!!!! " Life is like sand in hand".... at the same time even when held in hand the fingers of our hand should be close to each other... These are some key to be happy in life rather to just have a contented life...

Nobody owns Nobody!!!!!!!

I ts hightime that i realize nobody owns nobody..... someone can own a car,a house, or any other tangible asset.. but nobody can own anybody...

Even our parents who gave birth to us do not own us... We before being a son or daughter, before being a friend, before being siblings etc. are all individuals... We are the one who own ourself.. and nobody else..

I see so many people taking their fellow beings for granted and try to influence their behaviour and acts... it doesnt mean if a man gets married to a woman,he owns her!!!! she still is an individual first and then a wife...

Its a hard fact for me to accept... i love someone and i want that person too to love me... sid!!!! this is called the heights of selfishness!!!! she is an individual and has her own identity and choice.. its a fact but a bitter one.. how can i force some1 to fall in love??? but i feel all are the same... i feel everybody wants what he or she wants irrespective of the feeling and realization of fact that the other person may not want it....

i feel human beings are no more social.. they are getting back to the early form of how they were!!!! animals!!! and co relatng the depletion of all the natural resources to ths particular phenomenon i feel the world is gonna come to an end very soon and the resources will again take millions of years 2 form and man will be born again as an individual become social and finally die as an individual again !!!! "what goes around comes around!!!! "

Its a god's gift!!!!

Wat is tat whic is god's gift?? for me its my dearest friend who is god's gift to me... i feel if god can give somethin which would take care of all vices of the world, then it can be only in the form of a good friend...

I first felt its money tat can buy all the happiness.. then felt no its not.. money we may have it today and there is no assurance of it being with us tomoro too...

I then felt oh may be its our parents who are god's gift to us.. but then i felt yea true they r gifts but later i felt we as their children are better gifts to them than they being our gifts... We achieve something they get the credit for giving birth to such wonderful children... i may be wrong but somehow i felt they dont fit into that spot of being a gift to us.. they can be good assets...

Then i felt oh gal friend??!! hehe without giving a second thought i wrote tat character off... they are once again good but too much of expectation from them.. if we fail to do somethin whic they expect us to, we end up becoming bad boyfrnds inspite of sooo many other gud things tat we wud ve done in the past.. nevermind...

Then to some extent i felt my teachers... yea i was convinced .. but the drawback with this character is they stay with us for a short while.. all of soon graduate and move up and they still stay at the same school or college and do their duty...

Finally i felt wel its only a good friend a really close friend who can be our biggest boon .. But getting a really gud friend is pretty tuf in this contemporary and superficial world but once found nothing like it... i feel of all the characters i ve come aacross in my 20 yrs of life i feel i have got the maximum amount of happiness with a good friend around me..

People unfortunately get addicted to alcohol, to ciggis but fortunately i have got addicted to my friend... my living is incomplete without my friend...

My joy, my happiness are of course dependent on soo many people around me but the final happiness untill shared with my friend i don feel as if i have actually acheived something... i feel as normal and sober as i was b4 i achieved it...

I dunno if its the same with all but this is how it is with me since last few months when i got an amaaizing friend... We are not bound to anything at all and yet care for each other... Ths particular relationship is so very different and special to me.. She is someone surely sent by the gods.. im so happy for the person whomever she is gonna spend her married life with coz i feel he is gonna be the luckiest person on this holy earth.. she is bold, humble,caring,beautiful, i mean i can just go on... I feel so lucky and priveleged to have met her in my life.. This is a very crucial and important session of my life.. i had to be looked on things lik if i have actually caught the right track of my life and things lik that.... and with ths sorta friend around im sure im always gonna be on the right track...

Dear friend my days are made coz of u, and days make months, months make years and years make a lifetime... im sure my life is made.. i feeel as if im on top of the world to have some1 like u around.. i look down on everyone else who is nt a gud friend of urs.. they are all missing some1 gr8 in their lives.... but who cares.. i hope they realise their mistakes and see to it that they too have a gud friend in life... gal friends or boy friends come and go.. but a genuine friend will always stay forever.. and my friend ll always stay with me throughout my life backing me ... even if not physically im sure she ll mentally always be present in my mind and keep bringing the smiles and happiness which i have right now. She is sorta deeply engraved in my heart... UR THE BEST FRIEND I HAVE SEEN AND I HAVE BEEN WITH.. "its from the gods" .. though some pple don believe the existence of god.. ;)

Two imporatant people all of us need!!!

Well im sure if i randomly ask people " whom do u think u need the most in your life" im sure 90 % of the people would say its the mother and the father... k cheers to people who say that.. but then after cheers to them i would certainly ask all of those who said its mum and dad or brother brother and sister..etc ( basically blood rels) that did they really think and answer the question??

I say this because i feel its not our parents who are actually responsible for what we are and how we are... things lik schooling, discipline etc etc in the early ages of our lives are no doubt in our parent's hands but then after schooling wen a boy or a gal enters college and beyond i dont think parents have anything to do or have no role to play other than paying our education fees ;)...leaving out the people who end up listening to their parents with a blindfolded belief and trust on them..

I very strongly feel parents exist only to leave us to a particular stage from where its adios to them and hi hellos to some special people in life who influence and mould our lives forever..

there are many such roles.. for example in my life.. my teachers have played a major role in my outlook towards life.. I still remem my economics sir of my high school who taught so well and who influenced my thought process so much that today im completely soaked into that subject and doing my masters in it..

Another good example was my international relations lecturer in degree college who spoke about life and things regarding them that now my bent of mind and thought process has completely changed...

And then friends... luckily all the friends i ve made are all good or rather i saw to it that all my friends are nice and good hearted people to hang around with. and now when i think of all these events and all the different people whom i have met have all played a very significant role in shaping up my overall personality...

Practically if looked into this... Al of us right from secondary schooling and pre univ. age hardly spend time at home with parents and siblings or any of our blood relations... if looked all of us have spent majority of our lives wit our classmates wit our teachers and predominantly friends... We get up in our houses and finally get back home only to sleep or rather spend the night at home coz we tend be and ought to be good children at home only then our parents get pleased or else im sure not many socially active people would even like to that....

And if looked at it statistically... an average Indian boy or gal spends his life at his home until he is 18 for those who end up studying out and 21 for those of us who study in the same city.. and after our education we start working and once we start working we very soon become independent and tend to search for a good partner and finally get married by late 20s... so its only 20-25 years that we actually spend our lives wit our parents.. we may spend our lives with them even after that but after that they may not live for too long and may pass away once they are 67 taking into account the average life expectancy index of india...

So according to me THE TWO IMPORTANT PEOPLE who hold the key for anyone's happiness and well being is 1) a good friend and 2) a good wife/husband or boyfriend/ gal friend who are not married... Because we often tend to be careful while talkin to our boyfriend/gal friend and when we cant speak somethin to them we can always flush out that anger or pain to our good friend..

And most of the times in most people's lives a gud friend ends up becoming the boyfriend or gal friend if he/she is of opposite sex... therefore one has to very carefully choose these two personalities very carefully...

And i have already got an amaizing frnd in my life for the rest of my life.... and im sure she ll never take the position of an amaaizing gal frnd but still ll remain my best friend ever in life and the same applies to her.. im nt sure if she can or cant live without me but im very sure i definitely cant live without her love and support and here i mean living as nt just being alive.. i mean being alive happily... im sure even if i get a gal frnd my mind an soul will keep longing for her... no1 can substitute her...

Its only after all these sorta events in my life i felt parents just giv birth to us thats all... rest of all other things depends on what kind of people we meet and what kind of people we chose to live with...

Wat my mind says....

Most of us at one time or another have experienced the loss of someone we love. There is no way to avoid the pain completely, but we can find ways to cope, to become stronger, and, eventually, to find peace.

Dealing with death is a process we all must endure at some time in our life. When we receive the notice of the death of a loved one, the words crush our hearts and take our breath away. One message cannot stand on its own as memories and thoughts rush through our minds in a flurry of emotion. If the person was extremely close to us, we may even feel anger at the person for leaving us alone to face the world.

In all walks of life, people have devised ways to help them cope with the inevitability and finality of death. In all lifestyles, talking is the best way to open your heart and allow the grief to subside. Talking releases the emotions; it clears space in your heart and mind for a touch of joy to enter your life.

If someone you know has suffered a loss, the best thing you can do for that person is to listen. Face the person, don’t look away, and give them your full attention. You did not cause the tears they shed; neither did you cause the pain they are feeling. The tears make the pain more visible to you, but you did not give them the pain. It was already there.

When they cry, you may feel helpless and not know what to do. Just remember, you don't need to do a thing, just be there for them. Allow their tears to flow and it will help them to heal.

You need not speak, but do not turn away. Your silence as they cry is all they need. Be patient and do not fear. Listening with your heart to what they feel relieves their pain; for when the tears can freely come and go, their heart will become lighter in spirit.

I believe when we have learned all the lessons we were sent to Earth to learn, we are allowed to shed our physical body and return in spirit. Our body imprisons our soul the way a cocoon encloses the future butterfly. At the time of our physical death, we will be free of pain, free of fears and free of worries. We will be as a beautiful butterfly returning home to God.

The most important thing for you to remember is you are never alone. There are people who can help you cope with your grief as deal with it you must. For life goes on and you will continue to grow and to sing, to love and to dance, even after your loved one has parted. We cannot avoid the pain death brings into our life, but we can choose to not allow that pain to overwhelm us to the point of a lifeless non-existence.

u understand a woman's mind, u can understand anybodys!!!!

Im 20 now.... and have had and have good number of friends who are girls... well according to me they are wonderful creations of god.. because unlike guys they are way too complex!!!! A woman can very easily read a man's mind and thoughts but i don't think a man has ever been able 2 sucessfully do it.. may be few would have done it.. which would ve been either by fluke or may b is a female psychologist.....

The speed at which these wonderful creations change themselves may can be compared to light.. and the thought process is so very intense and deep... they are nt at all lk guys who is so carefree and cool....

I personally feel nature has created the two genders in such a way that its evenly balanced.. like in the sense, men are physically strong and women are not as compared to men. so to compensate that particular shorcoming in a woman they are mentally strong and shrewed and men are not to their extent...

i have observed women being aware and concerned about things whic are so very minute and non significant..

lik i remem meetin a gal.. basically my frnd was trying to hook me up with her and jus a formal meet.. and everythin went on fine and we said bye to each other.. ad later she has told my frnd tat she doesnt lik me.... and when asked why?? she says.." his nails werent cut"!!!!!! man this is heights... wel may be nt al gals r lik ths bt in general they r very shrewed smart and fast cmapred to guys... coz guys r chilled out elements who r least bothered about things..

So now im thinkin whether to think lik how i do or lik how gals do.. does'nt mean im tryin 2 b gal... jus means if i shud b more aware of things!!! :)

Some facts according to me!!!!

If u TREAT her nicely, she says u are IN LOVE with her;
If u Don't, she says u are PROUD.

If u DRESS nicely, she says u are trying to LURE her;
If u Don't, she says u are from CHENNAI.

If u ARGUE with her, she says u are STUBBORN;
If u keep QUIET, she says u have no BRAINS.

If u are SMARTER than her, she'll lose FACE;
If she's Smarter than u, she is GREAT.

If u don't Love her, she tries to POSSESS u;
If u Love her, she will try to LEAVE u (very true huh?)

If u don't make love with her, she says ! u don't Love her;
If u do!! she says u are CHEAP.

If u tell her your PROBLEM, she says u are TROUBLESOME;
If u don't, she says that u don't TRUST her.

If u SCOLD her, u are like a CHACHA to her;
If she SCOLDS u, it is because she CARES for u.

If u BREAK your PROMISE, u Cannot be TRUSTED;
If she BREAKS hers, she is FORCED to do so.

If u SMOKE, u are BAD BOY;
If she SMOKES, she is a GENTLELADY.

If u do WELL in your exams, she says it's LUCK;
If she does WELL, it's BRAINS.

If u HURT her, u are CRUEL;
If she HURTS u, u are too SENSITIVE!! & sooo hard to please!

Why am i not!!!!

Oh lord !!!!! why am i not deaf and dumb?? i ve reached a stage in life where now i feel it would be so great if i was deaf AND dumb.. initially i thought one would suffice but now i feel its preferable to be both.....

How much i talk... the process never stops.. absolutely no control. goes on and on. and hearing somethin back to watever i talk is the aftermath of it..

how muc i talk. and most f thm being unproductive.

I was just wondering how nice it would ve been if i was deaf and dumb. I need not listen to anythin and need 2 talk for or about anythin... I can always read and play and need not listen to an kind of loose talks spoken by pple arnd... me and my own world..

And now having the ability to talk and listen even if i try being quite and live a solitary life people think "oh this guy has so much of attitude" ... MAN!!!! its so pissing off...

Right now i don wanna have any frnds,relationships of any kind lik parents,brother,frnds gal frnds etc..

The kinda Utopian life i have in my mind is to get up in the morning, go for a jog then get ready and go to the college on time... spend the whole day in various libraries gaining lots of knowledge and in the dusk when the sun has jus set sit in a mission or a place nt a temple coz these days tas the place being most visited by people... so a place wher pple hate comin to i would lik to go and meditate for an hour or so... and then come home read books again and go to bed by 9 pm.... I would call ths as life...

But i ve a strong feelin in my mind tat its actually ths particular age and time tat im passing through tat is makin me think all these...

May be wil go in search of the someone who is already in me and be happy with my own spirit... after al who can understand my ownself better than me....

Nostalgia!!!!!

Feelin so nostalgic after vacating the old house and entering a new house..... new place,new people around everythin new exept the gadgets and accessories whic was in my old house...... after spending 8 odd years years it was very painful to leave the old one and live here though this house much better in all respects.. there are lots of sentiments and emotions attached to the old house...

I miss the terrace of the old house whic was 24/7 open and could do watever i want to do out there... and here its always locked and have to take the watchman's permission of al the enter the terrace...

I miss the cool bachleors who lived right oppiste my house who used 2 be awake till late night and give me company when i burn my midnight oil studying 4 my exams.. and here ?? nah.. here my balcony is somewhere in middle of the sky... i feel im in a different layer of atmosphere all together...

I miss the nights when my friends used 2 come over to my house when my parents were outta station and end up sleeping on the roof afta gettin sloshed and afta passing out... here i cant even think of it...

I miss the long lane whic was in between the building where every weekend me along wit my frnds play cricket and all the young couples used 2 walk and admire our game and yea also some elements who used 2 yell at us..

I wanna go back 2 my old house... :(( :( :( hope the new house is much beter in terms of bringing gud and bad times.. coz after al its the house wher finally all our thought processes germinate...

The strength of silence!!!!

I ve slowly started realising the value of silence !!! silence nt as an action but as a weapon!!! Silence can do wonders in a person's life..

There happened an incident where i caught up wit some of my old friends for a drink and then arose a topic about football and i reeli suck at it... i ve absoluutely no clue about neither the teams nor the players and these guys wre fully submerged into a topic which im completely un familiar to.. And i neva opened my mouth .. neva uttered a word about it... but smartly kept on nodding my head but neva spoke.. and these guys took it fa granted tat i kno eveythin about it...

So then afta couple of events lik tat realised tat silence is a great weapon, and slowly i ve started feeling tat a great companion too.... silence is somethin tat gives u company even if ur left all alone... the enchanting creative thoughts, and i ve been experiencing some weird thought process takin place inside me when im silet which im usually not... now im confused about making the choice between staying silent and sacrifice all the fun when i talk or talk and ve the kind of fun i usually have and have been having throughout my life...

i have also noticed that people often get confused when someone is silent.. ofcourse im talkin about people who r smart enough to obseerve activities arnd thm and about those who are self centred and botherd only about their lives.... And its gud to have an identity lik tat when people dont reeli understand what kinda person u reeli are beneath?? is he a kind of person he looks lik or is he some1 lik he does'nt look lik haan??

And this weapon is at its best if used wen a person has gone mad yelling at u... aaah the essence of silence is at its peak at this kind of situation... u can see the anger just melting down lik butter if we can manage to control our ego jus fa a short while.. but sadly most of us are victims and badly infected by this particular element... EGO..

But i wudnt say silence is an universal weapon!!! nt at all.. conversations are very important in our lives.. esp wit sweet chicks.. :) but then this weapon even if nt universal can b used to a great extent to reach great heights in our lives..

"but i feel being silent is very difficult" how self contradicting......

Condition at the sub saharan africa.......

Well ever since i made my country profile presentation about the sub Saharan country"Sierra Leone" as an international relations assignment i have picked up a flair towards those African countries which are struggling to prosper in almost all possible Fields.. such as economic social political etc...

Though i did my presentation about Sierra Leone for the sake of my internal marks then, now all of a sudden I'm into full time digging facts and figures from various sources of information about the sub Saharan African countries.. Their profile, their history the civil wars that have taken place in the continent etc..

Its so very painful to know how the west exploits these third world countries for money and cheap labour..

I want to get educated well in this particular Field and go free the continent from its shackles of slavery and exploitation.... i know its a dream beyond to be dreamt of.. but nothing wrong in dreaming big.. that's wat my gut feeling says as of now.. but who knows.. nature is so powerful and influential that one day it may turn me too into a world level "capitalist"???? have to wait and watch.. :))

Whats peace of mind???

Why Does our mind constantly run from one thought to another, always restless, never calming down or getting still for a moment?Do worries, anxieties or fears occupy our mind, preventing inner peace and happiness? Do we always worry and get stressed by what other people think, say or do?

Do we feel that our life and our mind are being always tossed here and there, like a rudderless boat in stormy ocean? I think most of us in this contemporary world feel more or less the same...

In a world where stress, worries, fears, strain, rush and restlessness abound, inner peace is of paramount importance. It is a treasure that everyone desires, but very few know how to find and enjoy.

Almost everyday we face situations that cause stress, anxieties, worries or unhappiness. Problems, conflicts, demands, misunderstandings or emergencies often arise at work, at home or in relationships, and lead to emotional and physical strain or problems.

Often, even while being in good financial condition and in good health, people still experience anxiety, unhappiness and lack of peace. This is because inner peace and happiness come from within, and do not depend on external conditions and circumstances. You cannot always change or control your external conditions, but you can certainly bring changes into your inner world, which will in turn affect your actions, reactions and external world.

So inspite of having all possible necessities that an individual needs to spend a comfy life why are we still dissatisfied?? what is the hidden truth that can get us the peace of mind status?

If it was the time of the sanyasis and the saints the answer would have been pretty simple... but we are in a very different world all together!!!!

To my dearest frnd.......

All though this world has tied your wishes with the rope,
in this situation also dont loose hope.
This is a stormy night but a sunny day will come soon,
And in this stormy night .take courage from the lovely moon.

If you lacka good advisor,you yourself give and take advice,
And in every sad situation be happy and rejoice.
If you want somebody to care and love,make him inside you,
and live with each other in a hopeful view.

At present work hard and encourage your soul,
and make a hardworkin effort to reach your goal.
others are jobless and can only oppose,
you have to reach the heights and then only pose..

for somedays close your ears and open your minds,
and work hard towards the goals you find.
Don't give ears to other's silly say,
And always wait for your your flourishing dream day...

An experience to remember !!!!

Wat an experience it was to invigilate charted accountant candidates today in my college.. :)
Well the institute of charted accountants of india have hired mmy college classrooms to conduct their examinations as the rooms are empty because of vacation going on..

So we seniors being jobless at home anyways were asked to invigilate the exam halls and they were paying us a good decent amount of money which is quite sufficient for us as college students to take our gal friends out for a date.. hehe

So all of us assembled today at the college and brother the registrar of my college just briefed us as wat we have to and wat not to do.. and we could see all the candidates witing and could see many tensed faces in front of all the exam halls... and those tensed faces got smiles on our faces coz i could recall the days we struggle before our exams and the people who used 2 invigilate our exams used to cooly get into the classrooms and casually hand out the question papers to us after which we get fucked for sure... and they watch used gettin screwed by the question paper..
So was expecting some such scenes whic i can witness which we as students faced when we had our degree exams...

They all were grown ups.. they looked easily late 25s and 30s.. We looked lik their younger brothers or even sons and daughters to some.. The bell rang and i had an co invigilator who happens 2 b my close frnd.. so both of us handed over the answer the sheets to them.. and i read out the instructions to them.. And they all looked as if im reading out somethin which they ve neva heard! may be coz they dint expect the invigilators to b of their children's age.. hehe may b..:)

Then two or thre were actually little young and were gud looking.... and as we had to anyways pass 3 full hours in the exam hall... so ended up checking out where they live in their hall tickets wher their adresses were given..... ;) and sadly the phone nos werent ther.. :( and afta all the formalities we notice that its just one hour that we have passed.. then the second hour we passed by just giving running commentary abt diff people who were sittin in the hall looking at their facial expressions.. and then suddenly i felt 1 f the candidate was takin advantage of our casual behaviour... so got up and stood right beside him for about ten minutes...

At 3 pm the peon got us hot tea and we just sipped it slowly in front of the tensed and worried candidates imagining them to be our college lecturers whom we hate.. hehe loved the feeling... :))
and jus 1 hour was left we kept on updating them wit the time tats left for the exam and ended up panicing them al the more.. The pleasure we got in looking at them rush through the exam was just worth cherishing.. coz we have gone thru the same pain an tension when we had our exams... so its nice to see someone in the position in which we were...

anyways have this job every alternate day this whole week.. want to have fun as much as i can and somehow get introduced to the chick ;) may be will let her copy in the exam and then carry n with the flow.. :P.....

wat is true for u,may not be for me!!!!!!

Well these days i dunno why i observe people's behaviour a lot... the ones who are my near n dear ones, the ones whom i don even kno , the ones whom i jus kno by face,wel literally whom ever i meet or see, for a change i felt lik observing n listening to wat they say and decided myself not to talk too much.. though i was a failure in doin that coz "i talk a lot!!!!"

anyways my observation wasnt a waste.. :) I find people, whoever it may be , very much self centered in their talks... That is something very natural for a human being. but i get a lot of utopian thoughts which restrict me in acceptin wat they are doing as right... i feel even im a victim of this particular syndrome.. but why?? why am i too?? why do i want to prove my point so badly when i don't even know wat the actual truth is??

I dunno if people wanna prove their point so badly coz they think thats the actual truth?? or do they talk coz they want others to kno tat they cn think too?? i find a lot of reasons for them to behave that way...
I finally realized that TRUTH in today's contemporary world is "highly subjective" in nature...

For me truth may be for example "A" for my fellow friend truth may be "B" but in actual reality truth might be "Z".. hehe wierd but true....

Our happiness is never in our hands......

I was just thinking about wat are the factors that makes us feel happy and contended and afta givin it a thought realised that our self happiness never depends on us.. It is of course something that we possess but certainly cant be acquired with our self efforts..


My happiness atleast is never in my hands... and when i thought about the whole issue and after a lot of empathy, felt hat its not true just in my case but almost in all rational human beings excluding the selfish ones.. Nobody can be happy with just him or her being wealthy or if he posseses everything that he needs.. It is very vital for the people around him to be happy too if he is gotta be happy..
According to me the feeling of happiness comes to its true effect only when it is shared with others.. Its not happiness when someone is experiencing it in isolation.

If a person attains 1st rank in his exams he feels all the more happy only when his friends and the people whom he knows acknowledges his achievement... and also the person attaining the 1st rank is not just his effort.. There are loads of other factors which are responsible for him to attain what he has.. Firstly his teacher,secondly his parents, thirdly his friends, fourthly the person who has valued his paper.. in this way his final happiness actually depends on various factors lik the above mentioned..

One cannot be happy only if just he is happy or only if his personal needs are satisfied.. For example if an individual is bestowed with all human capabilities, if he is monetarily healthy,phsically healthy wiith no problems in his personal life at all doess'nt mean he can be happy.. What if everyone else around him are casualities of the problems that life imposes??? I don't think he can be happy with only his self sucess and glory...

I now realise how important it is to be good to whoever you meet and make them feel good because without their happiness and satisfaction we cant be happy and without our good wishes to them they cant be happy.. so its a mutual give an take policy that we social beings follow that makes us so complex and unique...

How narrow minded can people get....

I always think people have evolved a lot.. if not the rural people atleast the urbanites have evolved.. but no now i realize human beings are after all human beings.. it makes no difference if he or she is an urbanite or not.. Diff only in the art of disguise can be seen otherwise both are the same when it comes to their attitude and thoughts....

Why don't people think the way which is positive when they are not sure of what the reality is... Is it that they do it wantedly by just looking at the negative way??? do we aquire any pleasure in lookin at the darker side thn the brighter??? i ve no clue..

I always find people thinkin in the most nagative way as they can even though they talk as if their minds are the broadest of all.. but the inner feeling is just the opposite..
This attitude is predominantly found in felid of relationships between a boy friend and a gal friend... between one friend n another... between a husband and a wife.. literaly in all possible relationships that people share with one another...
If the husband comes late from office the wife starts thinkin only things which are negative.. even if she doesnt completely think only the negative, that is the 1st way she wud think and then changes her attitude..
If the guy hasnt been answering his gal frnds cal n if it has been busy thn start thinkin who is he talkin to?? is he dating some1 els??
If the student comes late to class teacher thinks, he has been perinially running behind some gal or a guy an is nt at all into studies when may b the actuality would be tat the poor student would ve met with an accident...

Why arnt pple lettin positive thoughts enter the mind FIRST???? Then start think about the diff other probables?? why always negative? i dunno if the feel comfy in thinkin so... or may b they ve got habituated in thinkin so...

The best is when people start thinkin about a guy n a gal just talkin to each other as gud close friends.. oh my god their horizons are just too far when they think about the guy an the gal and their relationship... I don understand why people are so narrow minded n don't even realize wat they are doing is wrong and even if they do they are not ready to change their attitude..
Even with the improved health facilities i feel the lifespan of people would come down due to attitude lik this...

Love!!!!!

Ah finally Im in love...
Love with wat?? Im in love with my life .. n who is my life?? haha my life is my soul.. and who is in my soul?? wel its some1 about whom i care about, whom i bother about the most and finally once again whom i love.. Now let me make myself clear about wat love is...

Wat is love?? Love according to me is a feeling.. or to be more relevant to the current trend or time means an expression of a feeling that one feels .. expression regarding somethin without feelings isnt love... The contemporary world has given a very immatured meaning and ve a very bleak n narrow opinion about love... Is love only when a guy and a gal go out?? is it only wen they kiss?? is it only wen they make out?? Cant love b experienced without all these?? I think love can b felt and experienced by some1 who has'nt even come across the word "LOVE"..

Wat are the symptoms of love??
Wen you are happy all the time,wen u think of oly the gud,wen u look at only the positive side of every aspect of life and u don even know tat there exits a negative side...

Am i right about wateva i said about love??
I have always heard people sayin "love hurts" "love is painful" etc. etc. but y am i nt feeling so?? i may question myself that im happy may be coz my love life is a sucessful one?? i have an answer for it.. no i have no such expectation from anythin in this life.. so wen i have no expectation from life itself why will i expect something from my love??
And i have heard some1 tellin me or rather askin me few blunt questions about love.. " wat to do??" "so wat if its love??" " so wat if both lik each other now??" My goodness those questions were so damn realistic n true.. thats wen i actually started thinkin about wat love is n now i have a very optimistic n a reasonable idea about it...
Those questions echoed for a very long time. i wud say even now.. yeah its still echoing..

Actually im very badly confused about the whole idealogy "LOVE" (once called it a feeling now calling an ideology) When is someone in love? wen he thinks only about one particular person? or only wen he thinks only about a thing?
Its very confusing...
And the most confusing part is...
Wats happening to me? why am i getting so matured and thinkin so much?? Is it coz im in love too?? but how is it possible???
None of us in this world know head n ttail of wat love is n hw can we be in love?? For some1 love is obsession, for some attraction, for some attachment.. and for me?? ... hahaha.. i dunno.. im turning way tooo senseless n heartless day by day..
Is it gud or bad??

It hurts....

It reeli hurts when i listen to this story of a boy and a gal who happen to be my good friends.. It goes lik this....

The guy is was a big time flirt untill the day he got to kno that gal inside out... the guy had no seriousness in his life. He was just into tapping gals, flirtin going out, n very soon starts loosing intrest in tat gal n finally ends up fighting and ending that particular relationship.. All his friends think he is the biggest flirt ever they have seen and believe in the fact that they are never gonna witness some1 lik him ever in their lifetime..

But he is no more a flirt.. i kno him really well. he has just changed a lottt.. lot is nt the word thats appropriate.. he has jus taken a 360 degree turn in his life.. he thinks all optimistic.. doesnt lech at all possible gals and i was shocked to know that he has 4got how to flirt.. he feels shy to go and talk to any random gal. i duno if he feels shy or doesnt feel comfy but he no more does whic surprises me..

The gal and the guy became reeli gud n close friends.. They used to spend a lot of time hanging arnd at all possible places.. and my friend says he has neva met a gal lik her.. The kinda explanation he gave abt her made me feel as if i was in the heaven for a while.. he might have exaggerated a bit but however it was it made even me feel gud listening to it. n surprised me making me think "do pple lik tat exist??".

And after tellin everythin 2 me he says tat she is just his friend n nothin more thn tat .. i was pretty shocked 2 hear tat sentence. coz i thot they both were goin arnd.. but no..
It took me by surprise and i felt its reeli hard to have a relationship of tat sort.. Days went by and he everyday told me wat happened tat day n he used 2 b reeli exited tellin me all that and i dint ve any othr choice but to listen... The story wasnt all that dry though.. :)

And now coming to the climax of the whole story.. Time has come for them to depart. Time has arrived for him to no longer stay close and together with her.. He is planning to soon leave the city for good. i ve no problems with tat but 1 thing tat bothers me is will he continue being lik how he is right now?? or will he get back to the way he was which i neva liked.. I dont want my best friend to change.. as the saying goes that some1 will come in our lives to influence our character and who change us for gud.. and for him, unknowingly that gal has been the source of change... which i doubt if he realized it..

So keeping all these factors in mind its very hard for me to see the shadow of that angel going off whic shined so bright on him and injected all possible positive energy into him... I hope he is able to get adapted as soon as possible to the change and is able to get over the hangover of it...
I cant see him hurt n cant see him in a pain... i want some or the other form of energy to take over n keep a check on his life and lifestyle coz i kno him very well.. he cant ve control on himself without a genuine external force acting on him even though he seems to b controlled and matured outside..

i pray to god that he is soon able to get over the pain n is able to continue the way he is and not he was... i dont want him 2 b a flirt and a person who has no concern 4 himself n others.. who is just living 4 the heck of it...

It just feels reeli great to see a transition of this sort in any person for that matter... i dont know how 2 thank that gal for standing beside him and being the agent of change in him.. may all her dreams get fulfiled .. and i feel she will get watevr she wants and urges for.. and i very strongly feel she will get wat she wants coz, i have never seen someone who is good to all and all being good to that someone ever having a miserable life History proves that.. And if someone end s up being rude and bad to her than i wudnt consider him to be a human being... People lik the would be like speck of dust to her..

Even problems will bring happiness in her and she will reach heights in whichever feild she is in..

Expectations!!!!!!

Why ??? Why do we expect something to happen or something not to happen.... Isnt it too selfish on our part to expect something which is good and never expect something bad???
Why are we forgetting the fact that without givin somethin we are neva gonna get anythin in return...and we also forget the fact that nt neccessarily we have 2 get somethin in return if we are giving out somethin.... we 4get the fact tat we are in a conundrum there........

And moreover nowadays expectations of the people, are gettin higher and higher , from the people and from their lives... GROWING EXPECTATIONS.... GROWING DISAPPOINTMENTS!!!! we expect someone 2 behave in a way and if that doesnt happen we get disappointed..... we expect somethin to happen and if that doesnt we again get disappointed.....
Wel im nt lookin at it only in one way.. i kno we expect somethin n if that happens we feel extremely happy and great... but most of the times if wat we expect doesnt happn, the intensity of feeling bad is faaaar more and higher than the feeling of happiness wen we get wat we expect... i feel it shud be evenly balanced.....

The besht thing to do is to neva expect anythin... this adds on more thrill because anything that happens unexpected gives far higher thrill than happening wen its already expected...
wen something happens which we are already expectin is no joy...
gettin somethin without expectation gives far beta joy n thrill...

So .... GIVE UR BEST... EXPECT THE WORST!!!!!! So wen we get somethin reeli gud, we shall feel all the more better and rejoiced coz we are expecting something worse n gud happens... :) ... and also get a feel of satisfaction that "ok i did well and so i got it" !!!!

The last few dying days of college!!!!!

Finally those days have come when all of us no more feel college as a prison... all of us feel college is our home... none of feel like going back home, none of us want the classes to end, none of us want the teachers to be absent... well im experiencing a new feelin which is just opposite to how it was when i joined the college... i hated the staff i hated my friends.. i used 2 only like the days when the class used to get over by early afternoon and not early evening....

Are all human beings lik this?? that when they have it they never use it and when they are just about to loose it or already lost they start understanding the value of it..

I remem when all the lectures sounded boring to me,made no sense at all.. but now the lectures seem so damn inspiring to me... every lecture i feel im learning somethin new.. i seriously feel if i would have the attitude which im right now having i would ve learnt much more then i ve right now..

And sadly the kind of frinds the number of friends and also the quality of friends i have made in the last 10 or 12 months can be rated atleast fifty to hundred times better than the ones i had in the first 24 months... god!!!!! its all the more painful when i think about it...

Anyways its life and gotta move on with the flow... I would surely like to keep in touch with some reeli special people who are the sweetest people i have ever met in my 20 years of life...
and also to all my lecturers who i feel have commpletely changed the bent of mind whic i had pre under graduation... marvelous preaching i should say...
I very frankly feel if one has got a chance to study from st joseph's bangalore and finds himself in the humanities block then he has to consider himself to be reeli lucky to have landed in ..
Yea it is lil strict but certainly the pros are more than the cons ... -ves should just be blown off like dust and the positives should be neva 4gotten... im sure if i get married and if at all end up havin kids and if the kid grows up in bangalore i would surely see to it that he too will be a JOSEPHITE!!!!!!