wat is true for u,may not be for me!!!!!!

Well these days i dunno why i observe people's behaviour a lot... the ones who are my near n dear ones, the ones whom i don even kno , the ones whom i jus kno by face,wel literally whom ever i meet or see, for a change i felt lik observing n listening to wat they say and decided myself not to talk too much.. though i was a failure in doin that coz "i talk a lot!!!!"

anyways my observation wasnt a waste.. :) I find people, whoever it may be , very much self centered in their talks... That is something very natural for a human being. but i get a lot of utopian thoughts which restrict me in acceptin wat they are doing as right... i feel even im a victim of this particular syndrome.. but why?? why am i too?? why do i want to prove my point so badly when i don't even know wat the actual truth is??

I dunno if people wanna prove their point so badly coz they think thats the actual truth?? or do they talk coz they want others to kno tat they cn think too?? i find a lot of reasons for them to behave that way...
I finally realized that TRUTH in today's contemporary world is "highly subjective" in nature...

For me truth may be for example "A" for my fellow friend truth may be "B" but in actual reality truth might be "Z".. hehe wierd but true....

Our happiness is never in our hands......

I was just thinking about wat are the factors that makes us feel happy and contended and afta givin it a thought realised that our self happiness never depends on us.. It is of course something that we possess but certainly cant be acquired with our self efforts..


My happiness atleast is never in my hands... and when i thought about the whole issue and after a lot of empathy, felt hat its not true just in my case but almost in all rational human beings excluding the selfish ones.. Nobody can be happy with just him or her being wealthy or if he posseses everything that he needs.. It is very vital for the people around him to be happy too if he is gotta be happy..
According to me the feeling of happiness comes to its true effect only when it is shared with others.. Its not happiness when someone is experiencing it in isolation.

If a person attains 1st rank in his exams he feels all the more happy only when his friends and the people whom he knows acknowledges his achievement... and also the person attaining the 1st rank is not just his effort.. There are loads of other factors which are responsible for him to attain what he has.. Firstly his teacher,secondly his parents, thirdly his friends, fourthly the person who has valued his paper.. in this way his final happiness actually depends on various factors lik the above mentioned..

One cannot be happy only if just he is happy or only if his personal needs are satisfied.. For example if an individual is bestowed with all human capabilities, if he is monetarily healthy,phsically healthy wiith no problems in his personal life at all doess'nt mean he can be happy.. What if everyone else around him are casualities of the problems that life imposes??? I don't think he can be happy with only his self sucess and glory...

I now realise how important it is to be good to whoever you meet and make them feel good because without their happiness and satisfaction we cant be happy and without our good wishes to them they cant be happy.. so its a mutual give an take policy that we social beings follow that makes us so complex and unique...

How narrow minded can people get....

I always think people have evolved a lot.. if not the rural people atleast the urbanites have evolved.. but no now i realize human beings are after all human beings.. it makes no difference if he or she is an urbanite or not.. Diff only in the art of disguise can be seen otherwise both are the same when it comes to their attitude and thoughts....

Why don't people think the way which is positive when they are not sure of what the reality is... Is it that they do it wantedly by just looking at the negative way??? do we aquire any pleasure in lookin at the darker side thn the brighter??? i ve no clue..

I always find people thinkin in the most nagative way as they can even though they talk as if their minds are the broadest of all.. but the inner feeling is just the opposite..
This attitude is predominantly found in felid of relationships between a boy friend and a gal friend... between one friend n another... between a husband and a wife.. literaly in all possible relationships that people share with one another...
If the husband comes late from office the wife starts thinkin only things which are negative.. even if she doesnt completely think only the negative, that is the 1st way she wud think and then changes her attitude..
If the guy hasnt been answering his gal frnds cal n if it has been busy thn start thinkin who is he talkin to?? is he dating some1 els??
If the student comes late to class teacher thinks, he has been perinially running behind some gal or a guy an is nt at all into studies when may b the actuality would be tat the poor student would ve met with an accident...

Why arnt pple lettin positive thoughts enter the mind FIRST???? Then start think about the diff other probables?? why always negative? i dunno if the feel comfy in thinkin so... or may b they ve got habituated in thinkin so...

The best is when people start thinkin about a guy n a gal just talkin to each other as gud close friends.. oh my god their horizons are just too far when they think about the guy an the gal and their relationship... I don understand why people are so narrow minded n don't even realize wat they are doing is wrong and even if they do they are not ready to change their attitude..
Even with the improved health facilities i feel the lifespan of people would come down due to attitude lik this...

Love!!!!!

Ah finally Im in love...
Love with wat?? Im in love with my life .. n who is my life?? haha my life is my soul.. and who is in my soul?? wel its some1 about whom i care about, whom i bother about the most and finally once again whom i love.. Now let me make myself clear about wat love is...

Wat is love?? Love according to me is a feeling.. or to be more relevant to the current trend or time means an expression of a feeling that one feels .. expression regarding somethin without feelings isnt love... The contemporary world has given a very immatured meaning and ve a very bleak n narrow opinion about love... Is love only when a guy and a gal go out?? is it only wen they kiss?? is it only wen they make out?? Cant love b experienced without all these?? I think love can b felt and experienced by some1 who has'nt even come across the word "LOVE"..

Wat are the symptoms of love??
Wen you are happy all the time,wen u think of oly the gud,wen u look at only the positive side of every aspect of life and u don even know tat there exits a negative side...

Am i right about wateva i said about love??
I have always heard people sayin "love hurts" "love is painful" etc. etc. but y am i nt feeling so?? i may question myself that im happy may be coz my love life is a sucessful one?? i have an answer for it.. no i have no such expectation from anythin in this life.. so wen i have no expectation from life itself why will i expect something from my love??
And i have heard some1 tellin me or rather askin me few blunt questions about love.. " wat to do??" "so wat if its love??" " so wat if both lik each other now??" My goodness those questions were so damn realistic n true.. thats wen i actually started thinkin about wat love is n now i have a very optimistic n a reasonable idea about it...
Those questions echoed for a very long time. i wud say even now.. yeah its still echoing..

Actually im very badly confused about the whole idealogy "LOVE" (once called it a feeling now calling an ideology) When is someone in love? wen he thinks only about one particular person? or only wen he thinks only about a thing?
Its very confusing...
And the most confusing part is...
Wats happening to me? why am i getting so matured and thinkin so much?? Is it coz im in love too?? but how is it possible???
None of us in this world know head n ttail of wat love is n hw can we be in love?? For some1 love is obsession, for some attraction, for some attachment.. and for me?? ... hahaha.. i dunno.. im turning way tooo senseless n heartless day by day..
Is it gud or bad??

It hurts....

It reeli hurts when i listen to this story of a boy and a gal who happen to be my good friends.. It goes lik this....

The guy is was a big time flirt untill the day he got to kno that gal inside out... the guy had no seriousness in his life. He was just into tapping gals, flirtin going out, n very soon starts loosing intrest in tat gal n finally ends up fighting and ending that particular relationship.. All his friends think he is the biggest flirt ever they have seen and believe in the fact that they are never gonna witness some1 lik him ever in their lifetime..

But he is no more a flirt.. i kno him really well. he has just changed a lottt.. lot is nt the word thats appropriate.. he has jus taken a 360 degree turn in his life.. he thinks all optimistic.. doesnt lech at all possible gals and i was shocked to know that he has 4got how to flirt.. he feels shy to go and talk to any random gal. i duno if he feels shy or doesnt feel comfy but he no more does whic surprises me..

The gal and the guy became reeli gud n close friends.. They used to spend a lot of time hanging arnd at all possible places.. and my friend says he has neva met a gal lik her.. The kinda explanation he gave abt her made me feel as if i was in the heaven for a while.. he might have exaggerated a bit but however it was it made even me feel gud listening to it. n surprised me making me think "do pple lik tat exist??".

And after tellin everythin 2 me he says tat she is just his friend n nothin more thn tat .. i was pretty shocked 2 hear tat sentence. coz i thot they both were goin arnd.. but no..
It took me by surprise and i felt its reeli hard to have a relationship of tat sort.. Days went by and he everyday told me wat happened tat day n he used 2 b reeli exited tellin me all that and i dint ve any othr choice but to listen... The story wasnt all that dry though.. :)

And now coming to the climax of the whole story.. Time has come for them to depart. Time has arrived for him to no longer stay close and together with her.. He is planning to soon leave the city for good. i ve no problems with tat but 1 thing tat bothers me is will he continue being lik how he is right now?? or will he get back to the way he was which i neva liked.. I dont want my best friend to change.. as the saying goes that some1 will come in our lives to influence our character and who change us for gud.. and for him, unknowingly that gal has been the source of change... which i doubt if he realized it..

So keeping all these factors in mind its very hard for me to see the shadow of that angel going off whic shined so bright on him and injected all possible positive energy into him... I hope he is able to get adapted as soon as possible to the change and is able to get over the hangover of it...
I cant see him hurt n cant see him in a pain... i want some or the other form of energy to take over n keep a check on his life and lifestyle coz i kno him very well.. he cant ve control on himself without a genuine external force acting on him even though he seems to b controlled and matured outside..

i pray to god that he is soon able to get over the pain n is able to continue the way he is and not he was... i dont want him 2 b a flirt and a person who has no concern 4 himself n others.. who is just living 4 the heck of it...

It just feels reeli great to see a transition of this sort in any person for that matter... i dont know how 2 thank that gal for standing beside him and being the agent of change in him.. may all her dreams get fulfiled .. and i feel she will get watevr she wants and urges for.. and i very strongly feel she will get wat she wants coz, i have never seen someone who is good to all and all being good to that someone ever having a miserable life History proves that.. And if someone end s up being rude and bad to her than i wudnt consider him to be a human being... People lik the would be like speck of dust to her..

Even problems will bring happiness in her and she will reach heights in whichever feild she is in..

Expectations!!!!!!

Why ??? Why do we expect something to happen or something not to happen.... Isnt it too selfish on our part to expect something which is good and never expect something bad???
Why are we forgetting the fact that without givin somethin we are neva gonna get anythin in return...and we also forget the fact that nt neccessarily we have 2 get somethin in return if we are giving out somethin.... we 4get the fact tat we are in a conundrum there........

And moreover nowadays expectations of the people, are gettin higher and higher , from the people and from their lives... GROWING EXPECTATIONS.... GROWING DISAPPOINTMENTS!!!! we expect someone 2 behave in a way and if that doesnt happen we get disappointed..... we expect somethin to happen and if that doesnt we again get disappointed.....
Wel im nt lookin at it only in one way.. i kno we expect somethin n if that happens we feel extremely happy and great... but most of the times if wat we expect doesnt happn, the intensity of feeling bad is faaaar more and higher than the feeling of happiness wen we get wat we expect... i feel it shud be evenly balanced.....

The besht thing to do is to neva expect anythin... this adds on more thrill because anything that happens unexpected gives far higher thrill than happening wen its already expected...
wen something happens which we are already expectin is no joy...
gettin somethin without expectation gives far beta joy n thrill...

So .... GIVE UR BEST... EXPECT THE WORST!!!!!! So wen we get somethin reeli gud, we shall feel all the more better and rejoiced coz we are expecting something worse n gud happens... :) ... and also get a feel of satisfaction that "ok i did well and so i got it" !!!!

The last few dying days of college!!!!!

Finally those days have come when all of us no more feel college as a prison... all of us feel college is our home... none of feel like going back home, none of us want the classes to end, none of us want the teachers to be absent... well im experiencing a new feelin which is just opposite to how it was when i joined the college... i hated the staff i hated my friends.. i used 2 only like the days when the class used to get over by early afternoon and not early evening....

Are all human beings lik this?? that when they have it they never use it and when they are just about to loose it or already lost they start understanding the value of it..

I remem when all the lectures sounded boring to me,made no sense at all.. but now the lectures seem so damn inspiring to me... every lecture i feel im learning somethin new.. i seriously feel if i would have the attitude which im right now having i would ve learnt much more then i ve right now..

And sadly the kind of frinds the number of friends and also the quality of friends i have made in the last 10 or 12 months can be rated atleast fifty to hundred times better than the ones i had in the first 24 months... god!!!!! its all the more painful when i think about it...

Anyways its life and gotta move on with the flow... I would surely like to keep in touch with some reeli special people who are the sweetest people i have ever met in my 20 years of life...
and also to all my lecturers who i feel have commpletely changed the bent of mind whic i had pre under graduation... marvelous preaching i should say...
I very frankly feel if one has got a chance to study from st joseph's bangalore and finds himself in the humanities block then he has to consider himself to be reeli lucky to have landed in ..
Yea it is lil strict but certainly the pros are more than the cons ... -ves should just be blown off like dust and the positives should be neva 4gotten... im sure if i get married and if at all end up havin kids and if the kid grows up in bangalore i would surely see to it that he too will be a JOSEPHITE!!!!!!